skateboards.

i need to learn how to skateboard.. i always wanted to.. but i've been procrastinating for a while. i think five years counts as more than a while.. maybe before i go to college i'll learn. hopefully. & if i don't i'll just listen to kick push as i dream :)

acrylic nails.

i have a horrible thing about getting my nails done. i'm far from a hoodrat , nor do i put on that persona. i just love having acrylic nails. perhaps because i dont have REAL nails basically.. but yeahh .. this obsession has caused alot of problems monetarily & health wise. but regardless im gonna get them done every 2 weeks & give my money to dah chinese , who will eventually take over dah world.. so yeahh.

chuck taylors.

at dah start of freshman year, i saw the pure beauty in the simplicity of a pair of chuck taylors. and my fascination has not ended . i still love them. if i could wear them in any setting i'd try my best to :)

ice cream cake.

death.

another topic i'm going to talk about is death. its kind of a hard topic for me to talk about but that's why i'm going to talk about it to get some things off my chest. you know when someone in your family dies and everyone's like if u wanna talk about it then just call me. like, what are you supposed to talk about ? i mean, you can't bring them back, so whats the point ? when your're asking me how i feel, how am i supposed to feel ? how bout someone kills someone in your family? it doesnt have to neccesarily have to be someone dying it can be a sickness, it could be an accident. what can a person possibly do ? they can't deeply comfort you, they can't revive the dead.. the reason i brought this up is because a year, five months and five days ago, my father passed away. this is the only thing in my life that truly disturbs me. i knew he was sick for a while. and its my eighteenth birthday. he didn't even look like my dad at the end of the whole process. i saw him go through the treatment of percosett, morphine, fentanyl & everyhing else not to save his life because he was dying anyway but just to keep him comfortable while it was happening. and he just died. in the twinkling of an eye. all the things i went through. with all the fighting , about the cancer. all the things i endured emotionally and physically. i let him yell at me for no reason because i knew why he was upset and i just took alot of stuff. no matter how much i went through with him, he was alays going to be my dad. but, i miss him. i don't know how to feel about death at all. i do believe in God, but exactly where do you go? he wasn't a bad person, but he wasn't a Jesus or a Ghandi or something. so where did he go? he didnt die in a noble way. what exactly is the criteria of going to heaven or hell? i know the Bible says if you do such and such, you go to heaven if you dothe next you go to hell. but, i think life is way more broad than a couple of words written by ancient prophets or ancient scribes or whoever wrote it. i think its deeper than what the Bible says. im not saying the Bible's not true .. im not Bible bashing or anything, i love the Bible it has great stories and stuff. i'm comfortable with death, but i'm not comfortable with the absence of the person. i just wish there was a whole epiphany individually of where you'd go like, ok this is exactly whats gunna happen.. i'm not a bad person. i'm not a hitler i love everyone. i just wish everything was much more clear.. iDk if im the only person that feel this way .. but at times i just feel that things are harder than they should be.

but anyways..

r.i.p. pops. lorenzo davis-roach. i look like him, i have his face, i have his smile, he taught me alot. i know he's somewhere. better off than he was. so yeah. those ae my abundant thoughts on death..

my SiCK obsession with bob marley.

anyone that knows me. anyone that knows i breathe. anyone that knows i exist. knows that i have a sickly obsession with Bob Marley. this obsession i can say started when i was about 4. i used to go to preschool with my dad , he used to drive there in his rusty blue oldsmobile hoopty that he affectionately named maybel. these trips started my whole infatuation with reggae, with rasta, with universal love and everything like that. my dad, he had an accent so i used to have this things about , jamaican accents. it used to make me happy, it used to make me laugh when people would say crazy words that only jamaicans or west indians & caribbean people would undestand. i used to know all the words to all the songs on the legend album. you know those old records where you play them in a stereo and record them & put them on tape then play the,, thats how old my dad's car was. thats how old I am. can't believe it but yeah. i used to just sing and just had the desire to go to jamaica and meet all my relatvies from there. before they all moved to costa rica but thats a WHOLE other history lesson. i just wanted to share that piece of information about myself. i truly believe that Bob Marley was a prophet. maybe not a prophet like moses, but a prophet of love , of understanding, of caring. if you have a soul, you could just feel Bob Marley's vibe. you could feel what he was saying was relevant. you knew it was a true message. my favorite song by him is "Jammin' ". i used to be the little voice that said jammin'.jammin'.jammin' in the background when i was like five lol .. i used to always dream about being in the i-three's. it was really bad .. i even wanted dreads before my mom yelled and asked if i was crazy .. my love for bob marley is infinite. but yeahh dats all i have to say about bob marley. :)

culturally unaccepted.

im new to this! so my first blog is going to be about how it is to be a Costa Rican-American. I was born in America, but my whole family is Costa Rican. When people think Costa Rican, they think of Hispanic people. So when I tell people I'm Costa Rican, I'm often told "Oh, I thought you were African!" or "Aren't you Jamaican?". I understand the misconception of me being Jamaican because i say certain words funny such as "important"and sometimes when i get frustrated i end my sentences with the word "cho". & i have a gap so thats looked at as an African trait . Sometimes it sucks being a Costa Rican-American because you have their culture and you grew up in their culture, but when you go to the country, they expect you to be stuck-up and proper. Sometimes I end up being quiet because I don't want their judgments. But I will forever love Costa Rica and the culture. Despite of not being fully accepted in it.