I say a big t( ' ' )t to capitalism.

staten island.

like seriously, out of ALL boroughs my parents could have chose to live in, they decide to choose this one. there is absolutely NOTHING here.. i took a long bus ride today and realized how desolate this place truly is.. i can't wait to leave.. i'm gonna be living here for the next 4 years so i better find some good friends, a good place to chill or a good, inexpensive apartment.. whichever comes first.. having all would be great though.



this sign is pretty dope. too bad its not even ON staten island .::sigh::.

nina simone.

high priestess of soul. she never wanted her music categorized. she's a legend because she deserves to be, not because a lot of people know her name or story [ie. biggie.. much love though.]


only a person of her calibur during the height of he civil rights movement can say "desegregation is a joke." & get away with it.

nina. rip.

def poetry jam.

some good spoken word footage from def poetry jam poets. i was just watching some today cuz i was bored.. & these tickled my fancy :)

















i'm not puerto rican.. but yeah.. :)





more hood than i usually like, but talented none the less.

stones throw.

for dah past 2 years a record label known as stones throw has caught my eye immensely. artists like J Dilla, Quasimoto, Madlib, Madvillain, MF Doom, Penut Butter Wolf just to name a few have won my hearts. i mean, if u neva heard of J Dilla, you must NEVER go out. like seriously. & quasimoto is under appreciated. i know, dah voice machine thingy is annoying, but his lyric skills are DOPE. fuck def jam. true talent WINS.

my addiction.

i am currently in witdrawal from having acrylic nails. as i am typing this i see my natural nails [which are severly damaged and brittle due to this obsession]& it dsturbs me. not hearing the clicky clicky sound against the keyboard is very new to me. .::sigh::. idk. i think i need therapy for this. because the way im letting it bother me kinda disturbs me lol ..

music.

i USED to be a hip-hop head. i USED to enjoy new stuff came out . i used to know all the lyrics to every new rap song. however, for the past few years i've come to realize that up & coming rappers lyrics made no sense. even underground rappers whos talent i depended on for substance began to dissapoint me. don't get me wrong, my EXTREME love for hip hop still exists. 90's & backpack of course. now, give me indie rock & it would stimulate me more than a soulja boy song ever could.

my mother's photo-op.

i have not gotten any photo proof of my mother since i was about 6 years old. this picture excited me. & she's not one for hugs either so this picture to me is BEAUTIFUL. none of them knew i was taking the picture. it may be awkward,crappy & simple to you, but it means the world to me. this was taken on 3 26 09. when my brother was on his way to france. he's still there, ugh. he better come back. soon.

nails.

so.. today i got my nails done. by a lady with one eye. i was very prepared to get up & not pay due to the shotty work that i expected to be done but it wasn't that bad.. i mean its not exactly how i wanted them but i left it alone. i respect her. even though she is disabled she is doing what she truly loves: nails. i can tell when my nail technician does it cuz they like it or cuz thats just where life landed them. but she really liked it. & i dun think enough people give her a chance. i'm guilty of it.. i ALWAYS pass her by. i guess that was another one of God's lessons of how we can't judge a book by its cover blah.. blahh.. blah..
YEAH. i'd still never let her do my eyebrows though. THAT would be a LEAP of being considerate.

her work.

my hair.

so.. at the beginning of the week i had these curly thingies in my hair.. they weren't bad and they started to grow on me but today, my mom decided she didnt like lookin at them anymore & told me to comb them out.. initially i was going to be defiant, but just to keep the peace i did it.
right now, my bang looks bald. and my hair kinda looks like the late great abolitionist frederick douglass. i am currently miserable.. iDk wat to do.. my hair texture will NOT listen. i've tried. i'm screwed.this is fuckery. i guess i should be thankful that i atleast have hair and that my hair lost from that horrible haircut is growing back :\



WE SHALL OVERCOME.

twitter.

sooo.. i finally decided to join that twitter ish. ugh. im now kicking myself. cuz i know its shitty, but i'm POSiTiVE i'm going to get addicted to it.. its ridiculous how shit goes huh? ugh.

texting, shopping, realization.

ever since i got a texting phone, i have become a part of the texting frnzy. its really bad. i have completely disregarded that i am still IN school, needing to graduate etc. but its not like i go out & find people to text, i'll just randomly recieve them from someone and i'll start a conversation. that won't end for a while. thats my problem.. my thoughts never end. i am officially a shop a holic. if i see something i like regardless if i like it or not, i'll buy it. the other day i bought a pair of gold converses cuz they were DOPE. i did not need them WHATSOEVER because two days prior i bought a yellow pair & i upset myself because i am not usually like this. i have also realized.. i HATE sensitive people. not the amount of sensitivity that make us human but the type of sensitivity that makes people unlikable. like being unable to laugh at themselves or work out a simple issue. i HATEE that ! like,WTF?

over & mothafxckinq out.

nerd.

i'm the farthest from cool. i like sci-fi, getting good grades & i find joy in the simplest things such as the waves im the ocean coming against the beach. i bump into things and trip over myself. things i talk about never flow and they don't ever make sense. anyways, to much of my excitement, a star trek movie is coming out.. like OMG. i've been watchin that stuff ever since patrick stewart was captain picard. & i LOVE it. i can't wait. it seems like its gunna be pretty good. however, the fact that they're making a dragonball z movie is upsetting. it can never equal the goodness of the cartoon, but oh well :\ in the life of a nerd, a star trek movie release is equal to maybe.. the first time u realize ur no longer nervous about having sex. i would say orgasm, but sometimes those are REALLLY good. if the movie matches up to that sensation, i'll be sure to inform all. also, OBSESSED was THE shittiest movie i have EVER paid for. like, wtf? ugh. i'm lucky i at least got some eye candy..

DANDELiONS.

so everyday, i walk to school, much to my dismay.. however, i've seen some pretty things, sounds sappy i know but yeah.. i've watched the trees go from dead to living, puddles turn from frosty to life sources, birds make love, and gardens gradually bloom. One day, i saw an abundance of dandelions in my backyard. being that my backyard has gone to the shits, theres nothing to see.. also by walking past peoples yards & things i realized how BEAUTiFUL dandelions really are. since i was little i never understood why people called them weeds. i vividly remember my young self arguing with an adult whose face i cant remember but whose name never leaves & that they truly ARE flowers and deserve to live. so one day on google i typed in dandelion. to see their origins to see why they were considered weeds. instead, i found a very beautful poem by perre shelton on youtube. and today i picked some. & i let them know they are appreciated.

bruises.

since the hip hop industry has declined i have been getting more into the indie pop rock scene or watever.. im not a hardcore listener but now im obsessed with the band chairlift. the song bruises has been playing OVER & OVER in my head for days. weeks i think.

skateboards.

i need to learn how to skateboard.. i always wanted to.. but i've been procrastinating for a while. i think five years counts as more than a while.. maybe before i go to college i'll learn. hopefully. & if i don't i'll just listen to kick push as i dream :)

acrylic nails.

i have a horrible thing about getting my nails done. i'm far from a hoodrat , nor do i put on that persona. i just love having acrylic nails. perhaps because i dont have REAL nails basically.. but yeahh .. this obsession has caused alot of problems monetarily & health wise. but regardless im gonna get them done every 2 weeks & give my money to dah chinese , who will eventually take over dah world.. so yeahh.

chuck taylors.

at dah start of freshman year, i saw the pure beauty in the simplicity of a pair of chuck taylors. and my fascination has not ended . i still love them. if i could wear them in any setting i'd try my best to :)

ice cream cake.

death.

another topic i'm going to talk about is death. its kind of a hard topic for me to talk about but that's why i'm going to talk about it to get some things off my chest. you know when someone in your family dies and everyone's like if u wanna talk about it then just call me. like, what are you supposed to talk about ? i mean, you can't bring them back, so whats the point ? when your're asking me how i feel, how am i supposed to feel ? how bout someone kills someone in your family? it doesnt have to neccesarily have to be someone dying it can be a sickness, it could be an accident. what can a person possibly do ? they can't deeply comfort you, they can't revive the dead.. the reason i brought this up is because a year, five months and five days ago, my father passed away. this is the only thing in my life that truly disturbs me. i knew he was sick for a while. and its my eighteenth birthday. he didn't even look like my dad at the end of the whole process. i saw him go through the treatment of percosett, morphine, fentanyl & everyhing else not to save his life because he was dying anyway but just to keep him comfortable while it was happening. and he just died. in the twinkling of an eye. all the things i went through. with all the fighting , about the cancer. all the things i endured emotionally and physically. i let him yell at me for no reason because i knew why he was upset and i just took alot of stuff. no matter how much i went through with him, he was alays going to be my dad. but, i miss him. i don't know how to feel about death at all. i do believe in God, but exactly where do you go? he wasn't a bad person, but he wasn't a Jesus or a Ghandi or something. so where did he go? he didnt die in a noble way. what exactly is the criteria of going to heaven or hell? i know the Bible says if you do such and such, you go to heaven if you dothe next you go to hell. but, i think life is way more broad than a couple of words written by ancient prophets or ancient scribes or whoever wrote it. i think its deeper than what the Bible says. im not saying the Bible's not true .. im not Bible bashing or anything, i love the Bible it has great stories and stuff. i'm comfortable with death, but i'm not comfortable with the absence of the person. i just wish there was a whole epiphany individually of where you'd go like, ok this is exactly whats gunna happen.. i'm not a bad person. i'm not a hitler i love everyone. i just wish everything was much more clear.. iDk if im the only person that feel this way .. but at times i just feel that things are harder than they should be.

but anyways..

r.i.p. pops. lorenzo davis-roach. i look like him, i have his face, i have his smile, he taught me alot. i know he's somewhere. better off than he was. so yeah. those ae my abundant thoughts on death..

my SiCK obsession with bob marley.

anyone that knows me. anyone that knows i breathe. anyone that knows i exist. knows that i have a sickly obsession with Bob Marley. this obsession i can say started when i was about 4. i used to go to preschool with my dad , he used to drive there in his rusty blue oldsmobile hoopty that he affectionately named maybel. these trips started my whole infatuation with reggae, with rasta, with universal love and everything like that. my dad, he had an accent so i used to have this things about , jamaican accents. it used to make me happy, it used to make me laugh when people would say crazy words that only jamaicans or west indians & caribbean people would undestand. i used to know all the words to all the songs on the legend album. you know those old records where you play them in a stereo and record them & put them on tape then play the,, thats how old my dad's car was. thats how old I am. can't believe it but yeah. i used to just sing and just had the desire to go to jamaica and meet all my relatvies from there. before they all moved to costa rica but thats a WHOLE other history lesson. i just wanted to share that piece of information about myself. i truly believe that Bob Marley was a prophet. maybe not a prophet like moses, but a prophet of love , of understanding, of caring. if you have a soul, you could just feel Bob Marley's vibe. you could feel what he was saying was relevant. you knew it was a true message. my favorite song by him is "Jammin' ". i used to be the little voice that said jammin'.jammin'.jammin' in the background when i was like five lol .. i used to always dream about being in the i-three's. it was really bad .. i even wanted dreads before my mom yelled and asked if i was crazy .. my love for bob marley is infinite. but yeahh dats all i have to say about bob marley. :)

culturally unaccepted.

im new to this! so my first blog is going to be about how it is to be a Costa Rican-American. I was born in America, but my whole family is Costa Rican. When people think Costa Rican, they think of Hispanic people. So when I tell people I'm Costa Rican, I'm often told "Oh, I thought you were African!" or "Aren't you Jamaican?". I understand the misconception of me being Jamaican because i say certain words funny such as "important"and sometimes when i get frustrated i end my sentences with the word "cho". & i have a gap so thats looked at as an African trait . Sometimes it sucks being a Costa Rican-American because you have their culture and you grew up in their culture, but when you go to the country, they expect you to be stuck-up and proper. Sometimes I end up being quiet because I don't want their judgments. But I will forever love Costa Rica and the culture. Despite of not being fully accepted in it.